Jai P. Paul

My Testimony

I was born in a Catholic family. I was a God-fearing kid, that is, I was afraid of God. I believed that God would punish me if I wasn’t a good kid and if I didn’t go to church. This helped me to stay away from a lot of trouble. Other than that, I did not care too much for God.

As a teenager, I became very restless at home, and with life in general. I did not want to live per my parents’ rules. I did not want them to bother me or question me. And every time my dad questioned me, I got really angry with him. I was not happy that my mom took his side as well. I started to dislike my parents and did not want to be at home. My best friend, who was also my neighbor, would let me vent to him and spend time in his house. 

When I was 17 years old, I attended a retreat with my best friend — another friend of ours from the group organizing the retreat forced us and we went “to check out the girls.” At the retreat, the first thing that caught my attention were not the girls but the music. There was a full band, and it was surprising to find it in a Christian retreat. The songs were lively, and I was hooked. I started singing the songs and it felt good.

There was a priest in the band who caught my eye because he wore a black robe and played multiple instruments (priests in India typically wear white robes). On the last day of the retreat, a young girl, in her early twenties, shared her life journey that led her to believe in Jesus. One of the things she said was, “today’s youth are already under the devil.” I was taken aback by that statement. My God-fearing self did not agree with it and the catechism I had learned came roaring into my head. I did not want to be under the devil. 

The priest wearing the black robe came up to give a talk. As I was already intrigued by him, I wanted to pay attention to what he had to say. In his talk, he said that if he hypothetically challenged us to bring down the tent under which we were sitting, it would be down in a matter of seconds. I totally agreed with him and I knew I would be the first one to accept that challenge. He, then, followed it up with a real challenge to follow Jesus. I thought to myself that if I was eager to accept the hypothetical challenge then I should also accept the real challenge. At the end of his talk, he invited everyone who would follow Jesus to stand up. I stood up and accepted the challenge to follow Jesus. Little did I know that my life would not be the same again!

I immediately felt a peace in my heart that I had never known before; I wanted that peace to last forever. I continued singing the songs, but it was different now. The lyrics of one of the songs was “Shepherd of my soul, I give you full control, wherever you may lead, I will follow.” I didn’t just sing that song but meant it, and I wanted it to be true for the rest of my life. I felt different about the situation at home and wanted to change my attitude towards my parents. I wanted to read the Bible and go to church. My desires were changed, and I had a different perspective on life. I went home a different person. 

In hindsight, I reckon my conversion to that of Matthew in the Bible (Matt 9:9) – Jesus called me to follow Him… and I did. 

My Christian Journey

After I went home that night, although I did not explicitly apologize to my parents, I started talking to them politely. I took out my Bible and started reading it. I was born-again and I was fully committed to the Lord and to the teaching of the Catholic Church. I went to Mass regularly and there were a few years where I could count on one hand the cumulative number of times I missed Mass. I also started going to prayer meetings which were influenced by the charismatic renewal (these were the only kind in India at that time); I even spoke in tongues.

The person who forced my best friend and I to attend the retreat, also part of my prayer group, started attending an Assemblies of God (AG) church because he liked the worship and the preaching. I hesitantly tagged along one evening. I enjoyed worshipping God there and the preaching was very uplifting. I started going regularly. On Sundays, I would first attend mass at the Catholic church and then immediately attend the service at the AG church. As I continued reading my Bible and attending the AG church, I realized that some of things the Catholic Church practiced was in direct opposition to the teaching of the Bible. The prime example was the re-presentation of Jesus during every Mass again and again as a propitiatory sacrifice, while Hebrews 10:10-12 says that Christ was sacrificed once for all time. I discovered more discrepancies and, eventually, I chose to leave the Catholic Church. 

I started attending Pentecostal, AG, or non-denominational churches after leaving Catholicism. I had subscribed to the ‘Word-of-faith’ movement even back in India. I followed many of the named preachers on Christian television in the US. I listened to them regularly and believed their teachings completely. However, I began losing my fervor in my faith as I started getting busy with work; I was just getting by without reading my Bible or praying most days. I went to church on Sundays and there was very little time spent during the week in prayer or Bible reading. 

But the Lord rekindled the fire in me in 2014. I started listening to sermons online and praying regularly. I watched a lot of debates on the internet between Christians and non-Christians. As I listened, I learned a lot about who God is and what He has done. The arguments and points presented were new to me and they motivated me to learn more. I started reading my Bible and other Christian books. My prayer was to know God and He was revealing Himself to me through His Word and through many teachers. 

One debate I listened to, in particular, changed my life completely. It was a debate between Arminianism and Calvinism. I did not know much about Calvinism, but I believed that people had free will and it was up to them to choose to believe in God – I was an Arminian by default. During the debate, I noticed that the side arguing for Arminianism was making emotional arguments while the person arguing for Calvinism was bringing up many Bible passages and making Scriptural arguments. I was completely disturbed by this and wanted to know the true interpretations of these passages. I started investigating more and reading both sides of the arguments. In the end, I was compelled to acknowledge that Calvinism or Reformed Theology is Biblical. The Scriptures proclaim the sovereignty of God in all matters including the salvation of humans. God has chosen a people for Himself in Jesus Christ, who died for them, and the Holy Spirit is actively raising them to life through the preaching of the Gospel. 

My whole perspective changed. I started reading the Bible afresh and I was surprised to see how I had missed so many things that were right there in front of me, staring at me. I renounced the ‘Word-of-faith’ theology since it is not Biblical. I was eager to learn more about who God is, what He had done in and through the Lord Jesus Christ, and my identity in Him. I enrolled at a seminary to pursue this desire. I also became a member of a church which teaches the whole counsel of God. 

I am no longer just getting by as a Christian, but I am living every day to glorify God and to know Him and to make Him known. 

JPCross Ministries

I started JPCross Ministries to share what I am learning in seminary with fellow-believers. The topics I studied in seminary were not discussed or preached in the churches I attended (except in my current church). However, I noticed that my seminary education was teaching me to read the Bible better and interpret it accurately. I was learning who God is, what He has done in and through Jesus Christ, and my identity in union with Him. I felt that my life as a Christian was being turbo-charged, and I was not merely getting through. Knowing God more caused me to trust Him more and be less anxious. I started worshipping God better and doing all things primarily for His glory. 

But I realized that a lot of Christians are just getting by; they do not know God and are struggling to trust Him and to live for His glory. They are not being taught the whole counsel of God from the pulpits. In fact, in a lot of churches, theology and doctrine are dismissed as too academic and not helpful for practical living. 

I also understood that not everyone can attend seminary. Yet, it is in knowing God and growing in His knowledge, can we truly live according to His purposes. My desire is to reach the everyday lay Christian and provide them resources to know God from His Word.